Category: love & loss
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From Disappointment to Hope: Trusting God’s Love
My son asked for some of my candy bar. I gave him a piece of it. He responded with. “I love you mom.” My question for him was, “Do you still love me when I say no?” See I’ve found his love to feel more than a bit conditional. I…
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Exploring Birth Country: A Family’s Adoption Journey
Our family is preparing to take a trip to our child’s birth country for the first time since adoption of our daughter ten years ago. As soon as our daughter was old enough to talk, she wanted to go back to her birth country and see and experience everything we…
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Essential Tips for Foster Parents on Court Days
As a foster parent, when I prepare for a day spent in family court this is what I do. First, let’s pack the bag. Included in this bag are: 1.) Snacks/food. First, I consider the child I am taking with me (usually a baby 0-2 years.) Second, I consider myself.…
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From Heartbreak to Happiness: My Foster Care Story
Just the other day: I was busy getting my youngest ready for a field trip to a local pumpkin patch. I was thinking only of getting our lunches together, and getting out the door on time. As I drove, it hit me. I’ve been to this pumpkin patch before. The…
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I am a plan B mom.
On this day in 2015 I danced with Anne Marie to the sound of a lady singing karaoke, as that lady did every night of the week while we were in Nanjing, China. A whole group of ladies would join in, and they would sing and dance for hours into…
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Tiny feet bring big thoughts
I want to hold onto every baby, placed in my home, forever. I want to be everything that I feel they deserve. I want to catch them when they are toddling from learning to walk. I want to tell them every good thing I know about their birth family. I…
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Just keep talking to Jesus
You guys ever have so many conflicting thoughts swirling and end up feeling exhausted and without an answer to the madness? Cool. Me too. I’ve found when I turn on the praise and worship, get in the presence of God through reading the Bible, or just stop talking to myself…
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God break my heart for what breaks yours.
I’ve prayed this often. I guess I might have thought God would just give me eyes to see what I wasn’t seeing. However, he instead gave me children that I would love with my whole being, and then allow me to see the troubles they face without them having done…
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God’s will be done.
At some point in my life I decided that for someone to pray that “God’s will be done” meant they had given up on asking for what they wanted, and they were now resigned to “the Lord’s will.” The Lord’s will prayers sounded sad, ominous, and even as if death…
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A smile can hide a broken heart.
The summer after I asked my husband to take our foster son (baby) back to The Department of Human Resources, I was struggling. I felt like I had failed God, failed that baby, and failed my entire family who loved that child with me. I felt like I was a…
The Road to You 