The Road to You

I’ve prayed this often. I guess I might have thought God would just give me eyes to see what I wasn’t seeing. However, he instead gave me children that I would love with my whole being, and then allow me to see the troubles they face without them having done anything but be born.

My heart breaks for the trials they face, the struggles they endure, and all the others with hearts like their hearts, brains like their brains, bodies like their bodies, and yet they didn’t get placed in my home. They aren’t afforded all the investment and sacrifice that I and my family are able and willing to give so that our children can have the best today’s and tomorrow’s possible.

God didn’t just open my eyes, he made me the mother of those whom he needed me to see and love in a way I would have never understood fully from the outside looking in.

I’ve always believed there is just no way that a good God would put someone in a situation from which they cannot feel His love. In a situation where they are doomed to death and destruction. Yet, from the outside looking in, there are many who start their lives with so many blockades that must be overcome in order for them to succeed (success being measured differently for each individual, and the result being a person that is living to the best of their ability. Someone who is able to be happy and live with a sense of purpose.)

I believe that I, like Mary who gave birth to Jesus, am highly favored. Highly favored because I get to witness miracles, I get to be close to those whom I believe are closest to God’s heart, and I also do experience hardship because of this favor. Jesus was hung on a cross and he had only just begin his years in the 30’s. No one would feel highly favored when they are watching their innocent son, tortured, and killed. Yet, that’s what the angel called Mary, when he came to her and told her she was to give birth to the savior of the world.

Some idolize and worship Mary. I bet she didn’t feel worthy of that. I bet she wished Jesus’ life didn’t have to end the way it ended. I bet she wished it didn’t have to be so hard for him.

I cry sometimes, knowing that I cannot fix my children’s problems, I cannot overcome their obstacles or better yet, take the obstacles away completely. Yet, I do feel highly favored to know that God chose me to be my children’s mother. He continually lights the way forward, provides resources, provides treatments, provides people that understand where I am, people that understand and truly love my children, and people who walk alongside me and my children. People that say I am doing the things I need to be doing, I am giving them the tools my children need to succeed, people that bring peace when I get scared.

The provision feels like His favor.

The people alongside me feel like His favor.

My children’s hugs and kisses feel like God’s favor.

He has broken my heart for what breaks his by calling me highly favored and placing his innocent children in my arms as my children.

I’m forever grateful God answered my prayer with a yes, but now I want to attempt to give an inside look to those on the outside looking in, so perhaps we can all have our hearts break for what breaks God’s heart. Then let’s not just stay broken hearted, but let us move to give opportunities to those who need them, let us make sacrifices in our time to show up for those who need more of our time, and let us love deeper those who didn’t ask for their bodies and brains to be the way they are.

Because of a child’s beginnings, because of the stress upon those in whom they were formed, some children came out with a body that says the world isn’t safe. You’ll need to fight to be ok. You can’t trust anyone. You will be abandoned. You will need to scream and fight to get your needs met. There are impulses that are reactive and no time or ability to choose to fight the impulse instead of act on it. The brain is living at highly stressed and anxious which allows little room for someone to “think that through before you choose to hit, bite, yell mean words, etc.”

If you asked any of these little children why they did what they did (when an unwanted action of behavior occurs), they wouldn’t know. That wouldn’t be a lie. There little brain and body made a choice for them, in an effort to survive in the world that is perceived dangerous and out to get them.

This child is not doomed. This child needs love. This child needs to be told they are precious. This child needs to be protected, sometimes from their own destruction and harm. This child needs to be given tools to succeed whether that be counseling, medication, and or various types of therapy. Most of all this child needs to be seen, fought for, and the love of a committed family. They will need patience, forgiveness, and grace. The same things we all need over the period of our time on earth.

Now, I see why there are senseless murders, struggles with addiction, while people resort to suicide as a way out of the pain, and why people are violently abused. The brokenness found within the live’s of many leave them at the freshly birthed starting gate, with much to overcome. Not everyone is placed into the arms of someone trained to respond to a child’s cry with love, patience, and a mental fortitude that can only be formed in a life lived with many opportunities to do strength training. There are many in our world that aren’t given the tools they need to succeed. As a result young people are thrown into jail, they are placed in reform schools, they are alone, they feel defeat and they don’t even know what they have done wrong or how to make changes needed to “succeed.” These young people aren’t solely at fault. We judge, we punish, but do we truly see them? Do we run to help them? Do we understand them? Do we wish to mother and father them?

We need more mothers and fathers, for those small and large who entered the world with much to overcome and few around them to hand the tools they would need to succeed.

If you ask God to break your heart for what breaks His. He will. You can be part of the solution. There is “no us and them. There is just us.” (Credit to Father Gregory Boyle.)