The Road to You

I was doing a workout the other day and the coach lead me through a weightless piece. I cooperated because I figured the girl on the screen ((I was using a Tonal machine) should know best. It wasn’t until I was a couple minutes into these weightless moves that the coach informed me she was tricking me into a three minute rest. She said, “I know how hard it is for some of you to sit still for three minutes so these first couple minutes we are going to spend in active rest. This way you don’t skip the rest and go back into working out.” She said in order to build muscle, and do the moves she was requiring of me I also required the rest to show up best. “You need rest to do your best.”

As she spoke I felt a light bulb go off.

Each time I am in a season that feels restful, I feel bored. I feel like I’m not doing enough. I’m missing something. Yet at the same time I recognize that when I jump from one big task to the next without rest I don’t show up in my best form. I am short tempered, tired, less energetic to do things I usually love to do, and I am overall worn out.

As I moved through the weightless movements that were to help my mobility and also keep me in a phase of rest, I realized I need to apply this idea of active rest in my day to day.

As a foster parent you are hard wired to do hard things. You may not know it until you’re in the thick of something hard, but you will find not every personality feels the way you feel. You love a good task. Loving someone well is your speciality. If they are hard to love you look for ways to break down the wall and connect (whether it be your wall, their wall, or both.) So, when the time comes to say goodbye to a child who you’ve been spending all of yourself to love well, you may be tempted to say “what now!?” You can’t sit still. Sitting still feels like timeout. Feels like a waste of good time. You were meant for more. But. What if this is meant to be a period rest? How could you trick yourself into being ok with resting?

What counts as resting but doesn’t feel like sitting still?

For me, rest may mean I don’t say yes to a new placement, but instead read a book on a topic my last placement dealt with, or a topic that’s applicable to all kids. This way I’m resting in that I’m not meeting day to day needs as much, but instead, I am prepping for when I do meet needs again. I may choose to spend rest time educating myself on a topic. I know I won’t have time to read about with midnight bottles, or when driving around teens with activities.

I may be in active rest by starting a small group to encourage other foster parents.

Active rest could look like visiting family and friends you may have been forced to neglect a bit during the busy season you had with a young one in your home.

Active rest could look like a restful hobby like painting, or scripture/Bible journaling. A hobby you enjoy, but haven’t had time to focus on. Take a few week class learning something new (pottery, crocheting, climbing..anything that interests you.) When you commit to a short period of time the commitment will force you to rest.

Gardening. Certainly an active rest activity. Planting flowers…weeding. Brings joy but also makes you sweat.

Rest allows you time for emotions to go through their phases. Grief can take place if it needs to. Sleep can happen without constant thoughts of ISP, court, or doctors and counseling appointments….

If you’re married. Go on some dates with your spouse. Do a weekend away together.

Take your current still in the home kids on a fun outing.

Have some fun! It’s not that you don’t have fun when you have bonus loves, but there’s much value to be found when you pour back into those in your home who have been pouring out for the benefit of the whole.

Give back to yourself. Take walks. Starts regular workout routine if you weren’t on one before. Get your mind and body to a place of peace and energy, the calls will come. You will say yes again. Don’t wish this time of rest away. Don’t skip it. Don’t rush it. You’ll know when it’s time to say yes again. Until then. Perhaps enjoy an active rest.

What active rest ideas work for you? I could always use more good ideas.