The Road to You

My husband, my two oldest children (13, and 12 years old), my parents, my in-laws, a close friend, and myself went to the early release of this movie, in June. I don’t know what it would feel like to watch that movie not having walked the road we have walked, but for me I was crying hard while gripping my husbands arm and my friend’s arm, as I watched the mom in the movie fall apart, as she yelled angrily at a child she had taken in with the intent to love with an unwavering, and unconditional love. I said to my husband, “When does the hope come in? This feels too much like real life.”

I heard my friend gasp as the mom said things to her foster daughter that shouldn’t be said….but in desperation….in pain…in repeated exposure to trauma….these things can slip out…my friend doesn’t know that. She gasped. Like I would gasp…if I didn’t know….instead I sobbed. I sobbed because I know how hard it is to keep making the right choices, saying the right things, bringing my own calm to a situation that is constantly full of heightened emotions and a level of pain that you can’t understand until you love someone who has experienced trauma like these poor babies had experienced. There is no way any of us can welcome a child into our home and never make a mistake with them, never say the wrong thing, never yell, and never have thoughts of, “What did I do? Am I really the one for this job?” We are human. We will always fall short.

The only hope to be found is in our relationship with God. If He calls us to a child He then carries that child, and us the ones called to love them and guide them toward God. Only in Him will they find their healing and redemption, but God does use regular people to express His love to the hurting. To be called to love the hurting is no easy task. There will be many opportunities for apologies to be spoken, tears to be shed, and professional help to be sought. The choice to foster or adopt is not a short magical road. It’s not a road full of warm fuzzy feelings. It’s a road full of potholes, obstacles, and surprises that no one saw coming. It’s a road that will stretch you. It’s a road that will grow you. It’s a road that will bring you to your knees. It’s a road that will make you call on your heavenly Father like never before. It’s a road that will humble you.

The person that walks this road with their hands wide open and outstretched will walk in strength. If you choose this road. You will walk in humility. You will walk with compassion. You will walk with open eyes to see subtle signs of pain and suffering in the lives of those around you. Signs you may have missed before. You will have a front row seat to life change and miracles that only God could bring about. The miracles will not be because of you, the person that chose to walk this road but in spite of you. Miracles will occur because of a gracious, merciful, loving Father who never gives up on any of us. The miracles will occur in you and in those your Father called you to open up your home to. There is much hope. But it’s a hope you will be grappling to hold onto at times.

I hope this movie makes you feel seen if you are walking the road of fostering or adoption. I hope you see that it’s not you, that’s making this road feel hard. It’s literally a hard road. I felt that as I walked away from this movie. I also walked away hoping more people would choose this road. I hoped that when they saw the ending, they would choose to show up for someone and walk with them for a lifetime should God so lead them to do so. Some people we will walk with for our whole life, some for just a season, I just want more people to start showing up for these hurting children. I wrote “The Road to You: A Roadmap to Foster Care” to help equip those considering this road, and to shed light and the true pain on this road, but also the HOPE. The same goal I believe Angel Studios had when they made “Sound of Hope: The Story of Possum Trot.” It’s a call to action for God’s people. We aren’t going to lie and say the road won’t be hard, but we are saying it is worth it and you are able to walk it.

We need God’s people fighting for God’s children who are spending their lives in foster care. Only with the hope of Christ will they be able to walk into adulthood in a healthy manner. Let’s not let the world try to solve a problem that the church is called to be a part of. The system is broken because it’s made up of broken people. Only when people who are leaning hard on the Father and then walking into the lives of hurting children will we ever see healing and redemption.

The Hope is God. The Hope is God’s people opening their homes to hurting children, but then also being honest with each other when it’s harder than they thought and they need help. We have to quit thinking we have all the answers and instead show up in lives asking, “what do you need and how can I serve you?” We need to be safe people, so people feel safe being honest. Only then will they let us in to walk alongside them.

You can bring hope. Go see the movie. I’d love to hear what you think. They even have sponsors paying for tickets so the price of a ticket won’t be the thing that keeps you from seeing the movie.